Sunday, January 18, 2009

The New Year is the New Me!

Well hello there, thanks for stumbling into my world. Hope you stay a while and take a read.

Let's not mess about and get straight to the point here: I have been waging a personal battle of the bulge for as long as I can remember.

I was an active kid always running about playing with friends and hoping on my bike to explore the neighbourhood trails and creeks and as a teenager I was a committed volleyball player both on the girls Jr. and Sr. teams as well as co-ed teams and tournaments. I was so into the sport I went so far as to go to a volleyball camp for weeks each summer for the duration of high school.

But even still I had always been insecure about my looks and weight. Why, I don’t really know. There had been some negative comments directed toward me over the years as I got more muscular as a teen and I was forever being called a “solid gal”, which to me meant BIG.

I’d be lying if I didn’t say that it affected me. But I managed to leave high school weighing in at about 127 lbs, a pretty decent size for my frame really. Not thin but also not overweight. I was a fit 127, mostly muscle and next to no body fat. Probably the best shape I have actually ever been in.

Once graduation came and went I moved out and in my mind became and “adult”. At 19 I was living with my boyfriend and a roommate downtown Toronto, taking health science classes at George Brown College, anticipating my future as a RN.

And as we all know, those “Freshman 15” pile on easy when left to a diet of booze, fried foods and minimal activity. There were no college teams at my school and there was no lack of bars and clubs now just outside my door. All and all, it was easy to see, in hindsight, how the weight piled on. By 22, I was creeping up on 145 lbs, which on my small 5 foot frame is quite hefty.

At the time I didn’t really notice, not until I saw a picture of myself with all my chins and rolls. Not a pretty sight. I took notice and with the help of a friend, joined a gym and managed to shed 15 lbs and get back into the jeans of years gone by.

But alas, this did not last forever. Over the next 4 years the weight slowly, but oh so surely, came back. And again, I didn’t see it happening. I knew that I had to go out and buy bigger jeans but the size never fazed me. So what that I was 5’ and in a 34 jean? I was athletic … right? I could not have been more delusional.

It wasn’t until one day, I was out on a photo shoot to commemorate what would be a doomed marriage (that’s a whole other tale for whole other time) that I saw reality once and for all. I was no longer the petite, fit, athletic girl I thought I was. I was a 100% fatty. I finally seen the light, had an epiphany of you will. I knew that if I didn’t do something right then and there it was all over.

So I did. I took control and make some MASSIVE changed to my lifestyle and eating habits and adopted the teachings of the G.I. Diet.

Within 18 months I had lost almost 50 lbs, bringing my weight down from 161 lbs to a reasonable 112 lbs. Now that may sound like a tiny number, but again, remember that I am all of 5 feet tall.

I was ecstatic. It was the smallest I had ever been. I could wear whatever I wanted, nothing caused the dreaded “Muffin Top” and my confidence was through the roof.
And that was the case for the next 2 years. I stayed on track, keep an eye on what I ate and continued to feel great.

But then my life took a turn I had not expected. I became involved in a very emotional divorce and in an attempt to comfort myself I hit the fridge. Hello Old Friend, it’s been a while.

At first I was a slow gain, just a couple of pounds here and there. And I though “Ok, so what? 112 lbs was pretty tiny anyways. So long as I am under 127 (the high school weight) I’m fine.” And I just rationalised it away.

Once the divorce was on its way to completed, I started to feel better about myself again and broke up with my daily meeting with the fridge and freezer and actually lost a few pounds. I even decided to move across the country to start my life over again. And along with that a few more dropped of.

But then it happened … I feel in love again. Not something that I had been looking for, but welcomed with open arms. And we all know what happens when you’re happy and in love … you get FAT! What the hell is that all about anyways?

And so we are, begining the journey all again, the struggle of my life that this time I am determined to conquer once and for all.

It’s been almost 2 years since I left Toronto to make a new life in Vancouver and in that time I have managed to jump from 125 to my current weight of 135.5. (When I started the weight loss program I was actually at 138 but have lost 3.5 lbs in 2 week – Yes I’m a bit behind on the launch of this blog, but as you can see I have been busy)

Sure, that may not sound like a lot, but when I can’t get into the jeans I bought just last fall, its clear I have some work to do.

Hence this blog, it is my way of being openly accountable for my weight loss journey.

I evaluated the situation and set myself some goals:

To be 110 lbs (the BMI that is perfect for someone my height and frame)
To achieve that weight loss in a safe and permanent way
Goal Date: April 14. 2009 (14 weeks – not an unreasonable expectation at a 2 lb loss per week)

I’m already in my 3rd week of the “New Erin Program” and have been at my exercise regime 3 times a week: 30 minutes of cardio and 20 minutes of abs and upper body free weight and balance ball exercises. And you know what? I don’t hate it at all. I have always sworn that I am not a “Gym Person” and that it’s just not for me, but something is different this time. Maybe it’s because I am older now (I only have a few weeks left to call myself a twenty something), or maybe it’s because I am more aware of the health implications, or maybe it’s because I’m just simply tired of not fitting into my dang clothes!!

Regardless of the reason, this is the plan and I’m sticking to it. I have a goal that I am determined to reach.

I’ll post weekly as I do my weekly weight ins and measurements.

Wish me luck!!

Week 1: (January 1, 2009)
Weight (lbs) - 138
Bust (cm) - 38
Waist (cm) - 33
Hips (cm) - 41

Week 2: (January 8, 2009)
Weight (lbs) - 138*
Bust (cm) - 37
Waist (cm) - 33
Hips (cm) - 41
*My current scale is messed up and is putting my weight all over the place, this week telling me I have lost 10 lbs (I wish!) so a new one is on its way – A fancy digital body mass, water level deal.

Week 3: (January 15, 2009)
Weight (lbs) - 135.5
Bust (cm) -
Waist (cm) - 33
Hips (cm) - 41

No comments: