Thursday, January 19, 2012

Hyper Critial

Listening to an amazing spot on CBC Radio 1 right now ... all about how judgmental, critical and know it all Mothers are. It is so enlightening and SO true.

I find that as I move through this pregnancy people feel open to taking the opportunity to tell me what to think, feel, act, expect. I am assuming this is simply because this is my first child (however many of them forget or are not aware that this is NOT my first pregnancy), and I am to take most of what is said with a massive box of salt. I try so hard to stay open minded when given opinions or reading/listening to comment come my way but shit, sometimes it's hard .

The part that really gets me is that I don't pass judgement on anyone else's parenting choices, I stand firm to the belief of  TO EACH THEIR OWN. So what the hell possesses people to openly suggest that I be open minded (I AM!!), DO THIS, DON'T DO THAT ...


Last night it came to a head: A friend posted an article to my FB page about epidurals. I read it, I didn't comment on it one way or the other, however a SLEW of comments were posted to me suggesting that:

  • I don't know what I am in for
  • I am trying to be a hero and will not be given any awards for doing things naturally
  • I need to be prepared for anything and not to rule any option out
  • I need to be aware that things never go as planned, don't be upset if things end up differently than planned ...

Ummmm, I know, I agree and I NEVER said anything to suggest otherwise. I never said anything about my birth plan, my hopes for what my L&D would be like, I never opened up about a single thing - There was just a shit ton of presumptions happening ...


I am used to this happening when my veganism comes up and I am asked me asinine questions and have to listen to idiotic comments relating to health and wellness. I have become accustom to brushing these moments off and letting the morons talk their nonsense, leaving my mind to float to something more interesting and entertaining.

This kind of thing usually stems from the discomfort others feel about my personal choices. Not that I am pushing or preaching them, but the simple fact that I have have made them inadvertently puts others on the defence of their choices, when neither were up for discussion.

And as much as this has been part of my life now for almost 3 years this crap still gets my blood boiling. Who the hell are these women to suggest that I don't know what is best for me, for my child  and that THEY DO?

No one will be the expert on my experiences other than me
No one will be the expert on my child other than me
No one will be able to tell me what to expect or how things will play out

1 comment:

Cara Sheppard said...

I hear ya on the judgement! I got enormous flack at Christmas dinner this year for having a midwife instead of GP (what GP in Vancouver delivers babies these days?) or an OB. The flack all came from my brother-in-law's dad and step-mom, who I have met exactly once before. I was so insulted that they would presume, without knowing me at all, that I was incapable of making good decisions for myself and my child. Then my mother-in-law came to my defense, a huge surprise, and I remembered that these people are old-fashioned hicks who mean well and whose opinions make no difference in my life.
Soldier on in the knowledge that you are a smart, capable, educated mom who will always make the best decisions she can for her baby. Everything else is just noise.