My beta HCG tests came back at a lowly 6 on Monday and were down to 2 on Wednesday. The progression this time is quick and physically painless. A slight silver lining in a totally shitty cloud.
P is now showing signs of stress and anger as well. In all honesty, I am happy to see some sort of emoting from him. He has been so seemingly detached from the whole situation since it began in April that I truly started to wonder how much he cared and how invested in this he was. But something this time has hit him. Maybe the reality of the situation, the fact that we now need medical intervention, that we both are going to be held to testing, that this whole process could yield unpredictable results.
Emotionally I am up and down.
I feel out of control. I feel helpless.
I have decided to refocus my energy into my health and well being.
I need to get this body in top baby making order.
I am going to start working out again (I fell off that wagon hard months ago).
I am ditching caffeine and alcohol as of Saturday.
I am limiting my simple carbs and sugars.
I am going back to yoga and meditation to get my mind in line.
I will regain control and I will come out of this a happy, healthy Mother.