Thursday, August 20, 2009

Back to the Begining


Well I'm back to being fat.

UGH

Its not like I don't know how it happened ... I know exactly how it happened.

Its called eating crap and sitting on my ass.

I think I have to admit that I have may have a binge eating disorder and some serious body dysmorphia issues at play here ...

Like last night: I binged on 2 MASSIVE Big City cupcakes and 2 bowls of Cherrios - AFTER eating a big roast beef dinner with potatoes, Brussels sprouts, corn, peas, carrots and gravy ...

Motivation is gone - Depression is kicking in ...

I have to shake this off and get moving again ....

Is this the way its always going to be?

Me, fighting my body and eating issues for the rest of my life, only to reach a goal and then fall off the deep end and end up back where I started?

I don't remember it being this hard before ... Before I was able to just DO IT.

A friend recently commented that maybe I should have my thyroid checked, or that maybe I just need to realize that now since I'm over 30, that this war is now just going to get harder and harder ...

UGH

2 comments:

Kism3t said...

First off, you are not fat. I saw you, IN PERSON, with my own 2 eyes like, 2 weeks ago and you were BEEEE-AUTIFUL :) (And I envied the fact that you could totally pull of that bikini!!! JEALOUS!!!!!)

Second, big hugs. easy to get frustrated with weight, I know. Which brings me to....

Third, misery loves company, and I'm right there with ya. I FEAR stepping on the scale. I know It's gonna make me even more depressed.

But we can do this. You've done it before and so have I. And you're so freakin' ACTIVE, girl!!!!!! You'lll be outta this rut in no time :) Mark my words!!!!!!

TinyByNature said...

Aw girl, your sweet - thanks :) I needed some love on this one.

YOUR RIGHT, we have done this dance before and DAMNIT, we can do it again!